LOVE...

LOVE... “Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we’re gone.” Cecelia Ahern  Never settle with anyone who tells you to stop being so excited, to cheer up, to calm down, to stop feeling sad, or to stay positive. You are allowed to feel different things. You are allowed to feel everything. Anything. All of it. And you should be with someone who cherishes and respects that, no matter what.

I Don't Believe in Defeat.

There is no difficulty you cannot overcome.  A wise and philosophical man once said to me, when asked how he overcame his difficulties, "How do I get through a trouble?  Well, first I try to go around it, and if I can't go around it, I try to get under it, and if I can't get under it, I try to go over it, and if I can't get over it, I just plow right through it."  Then he added, "God and I plow right through it."

An effective method for making your mind positive in character is to eliminate certain expressions of thought and speech which we may call the "little negatives."  These negatives clutter up the average person's conversation, and while each one is seemingly unimportant in itself, the total effect is to condition the mind negatively.  When this thought of "little negatives" first occurred to me, I began to analyze my own conversational habits and was shocked by what I found.  I was making such statements as, "I'm afraid I'll be late," or "I wonder if I'll have a flat tire," or "I don't think I can do that."

These are "little negatives" to be sure, and a big thought is of course more powerful than a little one.  But it must never be forgotten that "mighty oaks from little acorns grow," and if many "little negatives" clutter up your conversation, they are bound to seep into your mind.  It is surprising how they accumulate in force, and before you know it, they will grow into "big negatives."  So I determined to root those "little negatives" out of my conversation.  I found that the best way to eliminate them was deliberately to say a positive word about everything.  When you keep asserting that things are going to work out well, good results do occur.

On a roadside billboard I saw an advertisement of a certain brand of motor oil.  The slogan read, "A clean engine always delivers power."  So will a mind free of negatives.  Therefore flush out your thoughts, give yourself a clean mental engine, remembering that a clean mind, even as a clean engine, always delivers power.

So to overcome your obstacles and live the "I don't believe in defeat" philosophy, cultivate a positive-idea pattern.  What we do with obstacles is directly determined by our mental attitude.  Most of our obstacles are mental in character.

"Ah," you may object, "mine are not mental, mine are real."

Perhaps so, but your attitude toward them is mental.  What you think about your obstacles largely determines what you do about them.  Form the mental attitude that you cannot remove an obstacle and you will not remove it.  But when your mind becomes convinced that you can do something about difficulties, astonishing results will begin to happen.  All of a sudden you discover that you have the power you would never acknowledge.

Norman Vincent Peale

Reputation is what you are supposed to be; character is what you are.

The circumstances amid which you live determine your reputation; the truth you believe determines your character. Reputation is what you are supposed to be; character is what you are. Reputation is the photograph; character is the face. Reputation comes over one from without; character grows up from within. Reputation is what you have when you come to a new community; character is what you have when you go away. Your reputation is learned in an hour; your character does not come to light for a year. Reputation is made in a moment; character is built in a lifetime. Reputation grows like a mushroom; character grows like the oak. A single newspaper report gives you your reputation; a life of toil gives you your character. Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor; character makes you happy or makes you miserable. Reputation is what people say about you on your tombstone; character is what angels say about you before the throne of God.

Relief Is Just a Pivot Away.

You’re tense, tired, edgy, perhaps even angry, hurt or feeling abused.  But before dealing directly with the source of whatever provoked your feelings, get yourself into a more balanced and resourceful state of mind.  Then you will be able to see your situation more objectively and work on a more permanent solution. Here are four easy ways to pivot:

Take a Break. No matter how difficult the situation may appear to be, a change of pace can help you open up new ways of looking at the problem.  Stop what you’re doing and find something else to do.  Focus your mind on anything but the cause of your stress.  For example, if you’re working on a stressful task, find another task to work on.

Practice Deep Breathing. Breathing!  It's one of the simplest yet most effective ways to manage stress's effects on your body.  When you’re stressed, you have a tendency to breathe more shallowly and rapidly – some people even hold their breath – depriving your body of vital oxygen.  To promote a relaxation response, breathe slowly and deeply.

Work It Off Physically.  Physical activities like stretching, walking or yoga can help relax both your mind and your body.  Even a five- or ten-minute movement break can go a long way toward helping your body reduce the tension caused by stress.

Appreciate What’s Working.  The more you focus on problems, the more stressed out you’ll feel.  Likewise, the more you dwell on what’s working, the better you’ll feel.  Review in your mind or make a list of everything that’s "right" with your job.  You may discover that you can’t be in a stressed out state and an appreciative state at the same time.  For this reason, appreciation can be one of the most powerful tools for easing tension and feeling better immediately.

You may find that once you release the tension and take your focus off the problem, the solution will magically appear. 

8 things you should never say to your professor

Your GPA, while important, is not your biggest selling point in the professional world. That shiny new degree won’t mean much unless you know how to communicate well with your colleagues and superiors.
That’s why it’s important to think of college as your training ground for the real world—a place where you can hone your soft skills so you can successfully navigate the workforce. Your professors, for all intents and purposes, represent your future managers, so it’s important to know how to interact with them in order to maintain a good working relationship.
And if you want to get on your professor’s good side, there are a few things you should never say to them…

“Did I/Will I miss anything important?”

I once told a professor that I would be missing her class next week due to a prior engagement. Rather than simply asking what materials I should read, I asked, “Will I be missing anything important?”
Big mistake.

“Every class is important,” she shot back.

Needless to say, I never asked her (or any other professor) that question again. While my 19-year-old brain thought my question seemed innocent enough, it suddenly dawned on me how disrespectful it really was.
Imagine pouring hours of your time and ideas into a lesson only to have a student question its value. Sure, not every lesson is going to give you an “a-ha” moment, but you should at least appreciate the effort that goes into them.

“Can you tell me what we did in class?”

Again, put yourself in the professor’s shoes. You spend an hour (or more) giving a lecture, engaging the class, and answering questions. Then an absent student emails you or pops in to ask for a summary of the highlights right there on the spot.
Not cool.

If you miss a class, do your due diligence before bugging the professor. Contact another student in the class; ask them about any assigned reading and if you could (pretty please) borrow their notes. Or, visit Course Hero to access classmates’ notes from the day you missed.

After you’ve made your own effort, you can ask the professor for any handouts you may have missed in class (check online first), or if you have any specific questions regarding the material.

“Is this going to be on the test?”

This is basically another way of saying, “Should I bother listening right now?” It makes you look like you’re only concerned with scoring well rather than actually learning the material.

Instead of asking what’s going to be on the test, use your notes and available class materials—like lectures and Powerpoints—to create your own study guides. Or check Course Hero to find exam study guides that your classmates have created. After you do that, follow up with your professor to confirm whether you’re missing anything. You can also use this time to ask about the format or length of the test.

“Did you get my email?”

Keep in mind, professors interact with dozens of students a week, not to mention their own colleagues. Imagine how many emails they get.
If it’s urgent, skip the email entirely and talk to them in person during office hours. If you do email them, allow at least 48 hours for a response. If they haven’t gotten back to you within a week, send a very polite follow-up email.

And ALWAYS remember to use a professional tone in your emails. That means no “lol” or “Hey, what’s up?”

(P.S. Check out our handy post on the best way to email your professor.)

“I wanted to take this class because it seemed fun and easy.”

This one seems like an obvious no-no, but I’ve heard students say this during class introductions. Telling the professor you hope the class is easy isn’t exactly the best way to make a good first impression.
Every class, no matter how “fun” they sound, should be approached with the same thoughtfulness as any of your required classes.

“Professor So-and-So gave me a C on this paper. Can you read it and give me your opinion?”

You should never put another professor in the awkward position of questioning their colleague’s grading methods.

If you really think you got an unfair score, the first person you should talk to is the professor in question. If you do this, don’t go in with a defensive attitude; keep an open mind and be prepared with questions about what areas you can improve upon for future assignments.

Professors (even the tough ones) will generally be impressed that you’re making a concerted effort to improve in their class. A 10-minute face-to-face could go a long way as long as you make a good case for yourself!

“I just started this paper last night and got it done right before I came here. Pretty impressive, right?”
Most of us procrastinate at some point (we are human after all). However, it’s best not to brag about your procrastination skills to your professor, even if you’re confident with the results.

They want you to approach the assignments they give you with consideration and an appreciation for the subject. Telling them you did it at the last minute is like telling them their class is an afterthought.

Nothing at all
Saying nothing at all can be just as detrimental to your grade as saying the wrong thing. Professors remember students who engage them with questions or comments on the material.

So even if you’re shy or introverted, try to think of at least one relevant question per week that you can ask during class. Starting a discussion can help you overcome your fear of speaking in public—which will ultimately help you in other aspects of your life.

Remember, getting on your professor’s good side doesn’t mean brown-nosing your way through the semester. A little respect and courtesy go a long way even in your not-so-favorite classes.

By improving your academic relationships (which can also help your grades), you’ll develop a better understanding of how to interact with your future managers.

#Career #College #tips

Every Positive Contact In Your Daily lLife

I woke up this morning with these three words on my mind.  It's very rare that something like that happens to me, but it did today.  And with those three words were many other ideas about the concept, mostly centered on the idea that every positive contact that someone has with someone else helps that person to grow in positive ways, and that our characters and principles are developed by the number and type of contacts that we have with other people, and that the more positive contacts we experience, the more positive we grow as human individuals and as members of the human community.

We all follow this principle in our lives, whether we recognize it or not.  If we want an animal to accept us, we generally don't try to make it like us immediately; instead, we walk up to it slowly, trying to pet it at first, and we don't worry if it shies away or walks away.  Then, the next time we see it, we try to add another positive contact to our relationship with it, until eventually there are enough positive contacts built up that the kitten or puppy or lizard trusts us, and will allow us to be close to it.

And while people certainly aren't animals (though some may argue with the statement), we often follow similar principles in our relationships with others.  As a teacher, for example, I never try to get my students to like or trust me during the first class--I just try to be genuine and sincere and do my job well.  If they're going to trust me, that's a dynamic that has to be built over time.

There are other people in my life with whom I don't have as much contact, or with whom contact tends to be negative if they're negative people or if I get angry or upset with them.  In these cases, it really is up to me to start adding positive contacts with them, slowly but surely, if I want to repair a relationship or establish a positive one.  There have been times when I've had arguments with people, and it's taken quite a bit of time to re-establish the positive side of the relationship.  When I try to accomplish this, I simply try to build the numbers of positive contacts--simple "hellos" or kind acts or compliments or asking favors--until the scale tips back over to the positive side.

If we could keep a tally of the positive contacts that we initiate over the course of our lives, it could be something that could show us just what kind of impact we can make in this world.  Each encounter to which we contribute in positive ways is a contribution to the peace and love and hope of the world, even if in a very small way.  But as we add ten, twenty, one hundred, one thousand such contacts over the course of months or years, we'll know for sure that we have made contributions to the lives of others that have helped them to feel confidence, hope, peace, or balance, or that have helped them to learn important things about themselves or the world.

What positive contacts can you make today?  When you have contact with any other person in your life, whether they're people you like or don't like, what kind of positive things can you contribute to the world, be it a small compliment, a sincere thank you, or a piece of encouragement?  The world is in need of positive energy and hope and love, and the best way for us to contribute to those elements of the world is to consciously add something positive to each encounter, to each contact.  The more we do so, the more natural it will become, and the more widespread the ripple effect will be--our contributions will grow further than we can imagine, and all we have to do is start somewhere.

Tom Walsh

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all the world. There is nothing that is an accident. You are a special combination for a purpose-and don't let them tell you otherwise, even if they tell you that purpose is an illusion. (Live an illusion if you have to.)  You are that combination so that you can do what is essential for you to do. Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours.

Leo Buscaglia

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.